Monogamy is good!

Now I know what you're going to say, but stay with me. My story gets better!

I fell madly in love with a girl in my school when I was 12. She was in the same class as I & she represented the cutest the world had to offer.

I guess this was the same time when hormones decided to ensure I had no idea what was happening in my life. Everything I had come to know & understand no longer worked. I was getting attracted to a person from the opposite sex for the first time in my life. And sure as hell, I had no idea how to attract her attention.

And so I did all the things that I now know are Standard Male Operating Procedure For Attracting Females. And that too without the instruction manual. I guess the Almighty hardcoded that in the male genes cause He knows how often & how easily we men tend to forget things.

I started excelling in academics, just so I could get up in front of the class & get noticed. And that was the time when I realised I did not have to put in a lot of effort to get ahead of the class. I just needed the right motivation. And, boy, was this motivation!

I started putting a lot of effort into sports. To an extent where I went from being a sissy who was made to practise with the juniors team to being the star of the school basketball team. I spent close to 7 hours everyday shooting hoops and practising every aggressive move I could find. That way I could get my personal cheerleader when I was playing in front of the home crowd.

And I started paying attention to song lyrics rather than just rock to the beats. This opened up a whole new world of expression for me. To hear other people express their love, their sorrow, their triumphs & their falls so eloquently made me, I think, a lot more sensitive than I would have been at that age.

I finally managed to get from a "good friend" to "going around" with this dream woman of mine. At that time, we were just 14. Not that the age mattered to us at all.

She happens to come from a very traditional family. And the meaning of traditional in India is not so great. It means that going around is frowned upon. Having too many male friends is not encouraged. There is very little exposure to other aspects of life other than God, family & academics. And this is what I had to work with & around.

I had to change my image in their eyes: from a worthless happy-go-lucky idiot to someone who knows where he is going. I had to show them that I could take care of their daughter for the rest of her life, that I would love her & care for her for my entire lifetime.

And that changed my life completely. I actually went from someone who didn't try too hard at anything to actually thinking about what I want to be in life & how I can get our (her & my) life into some semblance of order.

And that's when I realised something: I was desperately in love with this woman, I wanted to marry her as soon as I possibly could & that this is the woman who would make me the happiest that I could be. And that I was still 14 when I was thinking this.

So there began the long journey of convincing her folks (I was pretty confident of my folks, they've always been very supportive & open), of getting my life on track for achieving what I want.

We finally got married after a 10 year courtship. Today, we are happily married for the last 6 years, with our relationship standing at 16 years. And still going strong.

The reason I thought of writing this blog is because of an interesting conversation I had with a friend of mine. I will not go into the details of the conversation. Suffice to say, at the end of the conversation, I realised that I have been with ONE woman for all my life. And that I am very happy about it!

After 16 years, I think we have come to a point where my wife & I understand each other completely (well, almost), we trust each other implicitly & we understand that honesty is the cornerstone to a healthy & happy relationship.

And another thing I realised which I should put in black & white. I am what I am today largely thanks to her. She has always been the inspiration, the motivation to go higher & do better. I believe she makes me a better person & makes up for all my shortcomings. She makes me complete.

Why would I want to try to find the missing things in my life when I am already complete? She give me no reason to look elsewhere. Sure, there are a lot of places where both of us can improve, but the basics are sound, the foundations are strong.

We have already changed a lot living with each other. We have learned that we have to adapt to one another & I think we have done a great job. Cause I am more in love with her today than I ever was. And that's a good thing, right?

Monogamy is good! Very good!